Why We’re Leaving
After months of hard conversations and watching our country slide further into authoritarianism, we made the decision: Its time to leave.
I’ve wanted to go for awhile, but the thought of leaving this community that we’ve built has brought on every emotion. Angry that my children’s choices were slowly being stripped away. Sadness knowing we’re pulling our daughters from their grandparents. And excitement because there is possibility and opportunity waiting on the other side.
It’s all bittersweet.
Last night my oldest daughter shared her fears- leaving her dance school, saying goodbye to her friends, and facing the unknown. Ruben and I haven’t sat down with both girls yet to officially talk about it. Zosia is only six, so she may need more time to understand the situation. He and I agreed once we tell the girls we will tell his parents and family next. My mom and dad know- and while they’re obviously sad, they completely understand why we’re leaving.
The Ceiling We Hit
I have two analogies that help explain why we’re leaving now.
The first: we’ve hit the ceiling. Under this current administration, the road blocks feel too great to overcome. What was once an easy route to a new career as an RBT has been removed due to funding being cut. Opportunities to further our education are gone. School safety is non existent- not because of teachers, who do their absolute best, but because of policy. Public school funding in Ohio is being threatened. We can’t reach the next level. We are ending a ten year cycle. Time to move on.
The Cups That Remain Empty
The next analogy is the most heartbreaking. I imagine ten cups lined up. One is overflowing with love from our family and our incredible community.
However, the other nine cups? Bone dry.
They represent all the parts of life we’ve been struggling to fill: stable income, affordable healthcare, homeownership, reliable transportation, safety, and peace of mind. Over the last two years we have built friendships that I know will last a lifetime. Bonds with children have grown and the love we have for those kiddos and their parents is overwhelming. There is also guilt about leaving our friends and family in a place with so many scary uncertainties. Will they be safe? Can we help them being thousands of miles away? My mental health is fading, my physical health is deteriorating faster than I expected at my age and my stress levels are at an all time high. I watch what is happening in Gaza and Sudan and can no longer contribute tax dollars to fund genocide. I am sick everyday knowing that despite our cries to stop this, our government continues to send billions with the same response ” Israel has a right to defend itself” that is not defense–it is annihilation. It’s ethnic cleansing, plain and simple.
Not Fleeing, But Choosing
With all of that, it was difficult to say we are leaving our people behind. The language needed to change from that to, we are setting off to new adventures and opportunities for our family. This isn’t just leaving- this is choosing. Choosing joy, peace, and Choosing a future we can build with less fear and more freedom. Once the decision was made, a weight had lifted. We have always known we would leave at some point within the next five years. Now is the time and those feelings can no longer be ignored.